What is Life Coaching?

Life Coach - Un-Tell by Maggie's DIY — Life Coach – Un-Tell by Maggie’s DIY

Coaching is a process where a professional Life Coach safely and confidentially walks with you; helping you:

Process one or multiple aspects of your life (100% dependent on your preferences),
Get clarity of YOUR ideal goals (not necessarily social expectations or insinuations – unless it is something that resonates with you and you want to explore)
Come up with a realistic Strategic Plan to pursue those dreams.
In coaching, you should get an accountability partner and cheerleader.

Coaching isn’t exclusive to life and or related matters only. You probably are aware of or have heard of, a coach in reference to sports (football, etc.) than in other fields. Just understand that a coach provides support, and guidance, and ideally should provide a safe and realistic space for the coachee to explore and implement towards his/ her improved future situation.

Below, we explore further life coaching.

About Life Coaching

Un-Tell by Maggie's DIY - Life Coaching — Life Coaching Process

Life Coaching = safe space + support +guidance.

To this effect, a coachee (the person being coached or mentored) need not have clarity when starting out (the process will help figure things out), and the Life Coach should provide a safe space (including confidentiality, professionalism, no judgment…), as well as the required support and guidance.

What Kind of Support or Guidance is Offered in Life Coaching?

The type of support and guidance offered by a life coach (read more about what to look for in a life coach: how to choose a coach for you) should be in line with the coachee’s needs and goals.

Now, I am not saying that related information/ advice is bad; I’m saying it is unfair, futile, and potentially dangerous/ risky to take a coachee through a process that is addressing things that have nothing to do with him/ her (present or future) instead of helping the coachee with tools, support, and guidance to address his/ her current situation and work towards desired goals. Blanket solutions, just because the advice has been said to work for most people, are not the way to go when it comes to life coaching.

Your Needs and Goals as a Coachee

The needs of a coachee are different at different phases of his/ her life, and, therefore, require different approaches (guidance and support). For instance, as a young student in college, coaching needs may be different (how to study better, how to establish networks, career choices, how to apply and get into desired income-generating activities, friendships, etc.) than when this person is in his/ her 30s, 40s, 50s, when s/he has family or work, and his/ her situation and goals are different (say perhaps choice of living environment for the family, promotion or career change, further studies, etc.)

The above comprise the reasons a Life Coach’s support and guidance to a coachee need to be relevant to the coachee’s needs and goals. Otherwise, any guidance/ support that is not linked to the coachee’s needs or goals may not only be unhelpful to the coachee but also quite harmful, especially when unprofessional life coaches intimidate or shame people for things they are already trying to work on. The ‘deviated’ guidance/ support may seem to come from a good place, but in Life Coaching, beyond having good intentions, it is important for the Life Coach and the Coachee to be realistic. Being realistic allows them to realistically process things and come up with realistic plans of achieving the goals; whether it is to overcome habits, healing experiences, and or chart growth paths to unlock the coachee’s potential.

To help you understand this better, Rate the following Support, Guidance, and Capacity-building from a Life Coach on a scale of 1-5 (1 being worst, and 5 being best Coaching Service)

A. Rate This Quality of Coaching (on a 1-5 Scale)

Training a fish how to climb a tree.
Teaching a nun how to successfully get through a divorce
Showing a Muslim how to make and eat 5 Stars Pork cuisines

In the above scenarios, the guidance, and support, especially if it is the only thing the coach is offering, seem absurd because it is not addressing any of the coachee’s needs, is unrealistic, and offensive. Sure, someone may justify that this guidance may help the coachee help other people, but let’s focus on what’s important at this time.

People seek life coaching for many reasons, the most important one being to process/ address can handle their issues/ situations, fill their cups (so they are not serving from an empty soul), grow, etc. for their own well-being and or share their better selves with others later.

As a coach, do not lose focus; do not force coachees into saving the world when right now they are trying to save themselves.

B. Now rate the following:

Personal Financial Management to a drug addict or a billionaire
Tips for overcoming procrastination to someone who feels his/her life has stagnated

In Scenario B, the support and guidance given is relevant (could be circumvented to address the coachee’s needs and goals) to the coachee, but it probably should not be the primary or exclusive focus of the coach at the cost of specific guidance and support that the coachee needs to address his/ her circumstances.

C. How About this Quality of Coaching?

Career growth tips to a person who’s already established his career foundation
Tips for getting over cigarette addiction to a chain smoker who really wants to get over this habit
Multi-tasking tips to a person who is trying to juggle family, work/ business, personal self-care time, etc.

In Scenario C, see how specific the guidance and support is? You are probably going like “that’s what I need; specific answers first, guidance, support, as well as specific knowledge and skills, instead of one-size-fits-all, cliche/ vague solutions that make me go in circles when I am in dire need of a clear way forward”.

From scenarios A, B, and C, I hope you can see that support and guidance in themselves aren’t bad, and neither is the life coach or coachee; timing and relevance to the situation are what is most important.

Here, you can read about what to look out for in a Life Coach/ How to choose the best Life coach for you

A Reminder to You

Life Coaching allows you to define Life / Success / Dreams on your own Terms.

Life Coaching allows you to process your current (and past) circumstances to sort out what you need to keep/ continue with, and which habits or experiences you wish to overcome/leave behind.

Most importantly, Life Coaching (if you get the ideal Life Coach) gives you the support, guidance, tools, and knowledge you need to come up with your tailored Strategic Plan (not just a cliche or vague solution to your needs) that is within your capacities to pursue your goals without becoming overwhelmed.

More often than not, you may have all the answers in your mind but so many things are jumbled up in there, and you need someone to help you through this process; help you declutter your thoughts and experiences, and have every single one of them clear so that you can decide on what to keep (as is or through improvement), and what to discard.

Life Coaching enables you to strategize or re-strategize your life while managing your risks because you have only one life; it is paramount that you DO NOT jump blindly. Read about Comfort Zone here and why life is not always about leaving your comfort zone but protecting it if the risk of leaving is too big with insanely adverse life effects.

What’s your Part in Life Coaching?

As a person who is looking for coaching services, don’t put yourself under too much pressure.

You do not need to have everything figured out when looking for a life coach. That’s what the Life Coaching process is for; to help you figure out. Don’t be stressed either: you are not being interviewed or assessed, and if your coach makes you feel this way, leave.

Make sure that during your first consultation meeting (whether free or not) you get to assess the atmosphere, the kind of person your life coach is, whether or not you feel safe talking to him/ her, etc.

If everything feels okay with you, you can then discuss with your Life Coach how you want to proceed: the duration and frequency of future sessions, your role (putting in the work, committing to attending your sessions,…), your coach’s role, and everything else you feel you need to discuss with your life coach for future coaching sessions.

YOU DESERVE TO LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE

Whereas Life doesn’t come with a manual, YOU DESERVE TO LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE, and YOU CAN through some of the resources (posts, videos…) we share on this platform. We

Figure out how to identify and make the best of our talents/ privileges, strengths, etc. –
Figure out how to work through or overcome Challenges, Limiting Beliefs, weaknesses, Under-privilege, etc. –
Increase our AWARENESS of self and the physical/ social environment and learn how to deal with our environment (especially the social environment) to Improve our Quality of Life and Reach our Highest Potential

This is a safe space; we have fun, we sharpen/ build each other, we cry together, we celebrate together.

As a Life Coach, Here’s My Promise to You:

I will give you a professional, safe, friendly, and confidential space to process the aspects of your life you wish to work on.
I will share with you my wealth of professional knowledge and tools (tailored to your specific needs and life goals/ objectives), to unlock your potential and come up with a great plan that can help you work towards your goals.
I will walk with you and be your accountability partner and cheerleader so that the pursuit of your goals is less-overwhelming and manageable to you in terms of time, physical, emotional, and financial resources, as well as your pace.
I do not give you any cliché solutions (one-size-fits-all) out there, but rather work with you to figure out your needs and goals, hence a personalized strategic plan for you.